Note: this doesn't cover my allergist visit, that's going to be it's own post at some point when I process that...oy.

So I've been kind of vaguebooking about what's going on with my brainmeats, at least to most of the public at large. So here's the skinny. My pshrink thinks I'm a good candidate for a 'new' treatment, Transcranial Magnet Stimulation or TMS. Basically, they've found some people with depression had neurons that don't work as they're supposed to, but with stimulation from a magnetic field, they can get them to fire normally, correcting the depression issue. I've been reading on the science, and it seems plausible. Basically, if I qualify (both under insurance and after an EEG), I'd go for daily magnetic whackings for a period of about 6 weeks. The downside is it's crazy expensive, as in if my insurance doesn't cover it, there's no way I can afford it. But, if it's covered by insurance, and it does what it says it does, I may have my depression and anxiety in remission. Note, I didn't say cured. They don't say cured. I could need follow ups, and it's not a magic pill. But it gives enough hope that I'm willing to try.

Friday AM I go in for my brain scan, if I get pictures of said brain I'll post them. From there, it depends on if I fit the pattern needed, and if insurance covers it, then it's a lot of magnetic waves into my brain. (insert joke about uncovering dormant mental powers) Then...we hope.

I know exactly one person who's had this treatment, who said it worked until his insurance screwed him royally. I'm hoping for no insurance screwage. I'm also hoping that this might just be the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I'm tired, I'm tired of all the meds, I'm tired of the side effects, I'm tired of finding myself idly contemplating my own mortality. (No, not suicidal, don't worry, just tired). So tomorrow is a first step. Wish me luck, prayers, crossed anythings, whatever.